I'm in the Crowd but I'm all Alone

Hello, readers of the internet. Happy Hydration Day!

I'm sorry if the gif makes you have to pee.

So how are you all doing? It's officially been summer for three days, so I expect that some of you have done awesome things.

My life is pretty boring. I'm working the New High School and High School Alum YWiC camps, so that's taking up most of my time. I still haven't gotten out of my terrible habit of staying up until 2 in the morning, so I've been really tired today. And I have a twelve-hour day ahead of me, so I'm prepared to die.

This week is weird because Ari isn't here. She decided to go to a Hispanic Youth Institute Conference in California for this week and half of next week. I thought I would be ok, since we were separated for about that long last year, but she's so busy that I can't even text her. My co-workers have noticed my down-trodden mood, as I've become more affectionate and ask for hugs more often than usual. I've noticed that I rely on affection when I'm distressed emotionally. Ari isn't here for me to talk to about all my problems, or have discussions and debates about events that happen locally, nationally, or globally. I don't have someone I can be completely myself with. Ari is the only person I can be completely honest with. I don't have to hide behind social norms or customs or political correctness. I don't have to observe social niceties, and I can be completely analytical and void of feeling. Ari is my rock, and I've found myself shaken up by her absence.

Enough about my sad life.

I've been enjoying myself at the camps. I love helping the girls, though it does take up a significant amount of my energy. I go home and sleep and then I'm not tired enough to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. So yeah. That is my life right now.

I guess I can tell you that I'm no longer associating myself with Jazmyne. I decided that she didn't benefit my life and she certainly didn't make me feel safe, secure, or important. Why would I stay friends with someone who doesn't add value to my life? I haven't really felt any loss at the severance, but I do miss her sometimes. Still. I'm moving on, so that's progress.

I have nothing else to add. So long for now!