Hazey

Hey, surfers of the internet!

I hope your day is going well.

So the last post was a rather personal love poem I wrote last week. One of my close friends encouraged me to post it, so there you go! I hope those of you who read it liked it, even if it's just a little bit.

So Ari finally got back from California late last night/ early this morning. I was woken up because we have to share a bed for the foreseeable future because my grandpa is staying with us. Which means I am in a very cranky mood.

I can't talk freely about my frustration for fear she will see, but I'm extremely frustrated with a girl I know. It's bred from insecurity and a need to be dominant in the YWiC and subsequent computer science spaces. I like feeling appreciated and needed and useful, but she kinda prevents it for me. She has taken the lead and it upsets me. I've been a leader for a while, even if it's only in the background.

I guess this is giving me experience with working with people that I don't get along well with. And it really sucks, because she is a good friend of mine. We just don't work great together. We get along fine, but some things that I normally do for these camps have been replaced by what she thinks is "better." And some days it's not that bad but some days it sucks so much. I realize that I'm just jealous and insecure, but this is my space. This is where I've been the past six+ summers of my life. I live and breathe YWiC. I've seen what works and what doesn't. I've seen both good and bad camp experiences. Two camps does not an expert make.

Sorry. I just had to get my frustration out. I needed to vent about it so that I can be ok today. I'm not in a great mood, again because I had very little sleep. I'm not equipped to be personable and cheery today. Let's see what happens. I hope Ari being here in the afternoon will make things better.

So long for now!