Gender Bend

Hello, spring break. How I hate you. 

Yeah, yeah, I can hear all the gasps out there. I guess I should explain why I hate spring break to you in little bullet points. 

I hate spring break because:

-We hardly ever go anywhere for vacation

-When we stay here, we can't hang out with friends

-Our mom wants us to clean our brother's old room so she can lay down wood flooring

-I will be cooped up in this house for a whole week with my mom. 

It's pretty bad. My mom is a really nice person, but I can only handle so much. Especially because she is still bend up on my sexuality and my girlfriend, who is a secret by the way. So shhhhh!!! 

Today, I had to get up early to go to a bone and joint doctor for a check up on my scliosis. It's been almost a year since they found it, and my back has improved. It went for a 15 degree curvature to a 13 degrees curvature. I consider this fantastic considering I have not done any of my excersises for my back for the last few months. I know what you are going to say, Lilia tells me all the time. And Leah. I will say that my life is busy, and it's hard to fit in an hour of excersises into my schedule. It's not getting any worse, so please leave me be. 

So. I am so bored here at home. It's been kinda stressful as well, though. My brother got sick this morning, but we think it was something he ate. I hope it is. I don't want to get sick. Anywho, so we've been taking care of him, making sure he eats and doesn't throw up again. 

Now for the cool and interesting part. So Ari has this thing that she wants to do where she dresses up in a button up shirt with a tie and best and goes to school essentially looking like a guy. So today we planned out what we would each wear. I look best I a black button up shirt with a green tie of without a tie, and Ari looks best with a white shirt, red tie, and black vest. We tried many combination, some of which I will post here. 

I was caught by surprise here. 

Ari always looks upset. I don't know why. 

I know, I know, my glasses are off. I look better that way. Believe me. I tried. 

Look!! Ari is smiling!! 

And one more of me. 

So yeah. Sorry these pics are blurry. 

I really want to go to school dressed like this. And I want to look like this at my wedding. I hope his happens. Ok. So long for now!! 

Potter Junkies. (Not to be confused with pot heads)

Hello, readers. So. This week has been blah. For the past four days, we have been testing. It has been really boring and kinda easy. So for these past four days, we have had to go to a room in A building, which was our testing room. We are on the second floor, across the hall from Elisabeth. We have been in that room for most of the morning of these fast four days. Except for today. We finished up our testing yesterday, so today we were in our regular advisory class for the morning, watching movies and doing registration. Our group of friends in advisory didn't really watch the second movie because we got caught up in Pottermore. It was cool. 

I guess that's all for now. Bye! 

Problems of My Not So Exciting Life

So I know I haven't blogged in a long time, and Lilia and Ari keep on telling me to continue, so here is a new post. 

Life has been weird these past few weeks. We had the pecan food fantasy, which Leah and Laura helped us with, plus some other drama. 

So. I have no use which you want to start with. I'll go with pecan food fantasy because that happened before all the drama. So it was the first Sunday of March, and we didn't have as many volunteers this year as in years past, so we had to ask for volunteers at school. We ended up choosing Leah and Laura because we knew they were hard workers. I didn't think Lilia would enjoy it and I knew Lesli and Elisabeth would distract Ari and me, so we just went with them. They were a huge help. This year was the smoothest year ever. Leah helped take entries in the morning, and Laura helped us place them on trays in the afternoon. It was fun and tiring. 

Ok. So now for the drama. 

Most of this is nonsense but I still want to share with you. So. Where to begin. That's a serious question because I cannot remember where we left off. Oh well. I guess I'll just tell you about some stuff that's been bothering me this past week. 

Number one thing: my mom. Now for some of you who know my mom, you know that she is pretty cool mom and a nice lady. You're probably wondering why she is bothering me. So in bio yesterday, we learned that there may be a gene that predisposes people to be gay. Now, for all you people who believe it's a choice, I don't want to offend you but I believe this theory to be true. I've always been this way. I just denied myself. Anyhow. I digress. So I told my mom about it, telling her that it isn't a choice and that I can't change. She had the audacity to tell me to try and change. I was in too much of a good mood to get pissed, but I did tell her that changing my sexuality is like forcing myself to physically change my hair or eye color. It's not possible. She told me to try and do it. For some of you who know I'm a Roman Catholic, you might be expecting this kind of behavior from my mom. That's not at all what I expected. My family has always joked around with me and told me that if I ever turned out to be gay, that they would accept me. I completely believed them. My brother Noel supports and accepts me, but for some reason my mom doesn't. A few weeks after I came out to her, she told me that women have such a high capacity to love that they sometimes confuse their feelings for other women. I can't tell you how much that upset me. It was like she was trying to convince me that I'm not gay. That I don't like girls that way. But I know the difference. I know that my feelings for Lesli are in no was the same as my feelings for Elisabeth or Lilia. I personally think that my sexuality isn't what bothers her, but that I'm currently dating a girl. She has always said no dating, so for me to go behind her back and do just that, with a girl no less, just made her mad. She really doesn't like Lesli. I wish she did. Noel does. Why can't she? 

Augh. Enough ranting about that. So. Problem number two: rape. 

So we had an assembly today and the guest speaker came to talk to us about rape and how society degrades women. How people throw around slut and whore and ho because they want to disrespect women or shame them or just hurt them. It saddened me because I know just how unfairly men and other women treat women who have been victimized by men. Men always blame the women. They create rules that "protect" women, but they are unwilling to go to the root of the problem. Which brings up another point that has been bothering me for years. People always get mad at teen mothers for getting pregnant. As if they got pregnant themselves. It takes 2 to make a baby, but you never hear about the guys who got the girls pregnant. I want to do a study on the guys who actually get the girls pregnant. Anywho. I'm way off topic. So what really bothered me was that there were these students who had no regard for the speaker and were just laughing it off. These girls who sat next to us were laughing and calling each other sluts. It was disgusting. Some guys actually believed that women deserved to be raped. It was repulsive. And my mom wonders why I'm a lesbian. 

I find this to be so true. Please excuse the very distracting picture and focus on the words. I've always been put off by males. I've never really liked them, except for Noel. That's why I take part in  YWiC camps, or Young Women in Computing summer camps. I love being around women. Even before I came out to myself. Women mean stability to me. Men mean degration and superiority complexes. Men have always thought they were better than me simply because I'm a girl. Why should that matter? Gender means nothing. It's the character of the person, of the human being, that matters. I just wish people could see that. 

So you are probably really tired of me by now. I guess I'll stop here. Nothing really interesting left for me to say. Except for that Lilia is awesome. She saw how bothered Ari and I were by the girls at the assembly and asked us if we were ok. She gave us compliments and hugged us extra long. That's what I needed. It amazes me at how she picks up at that. I've always wanted friends who could see I was hurt and help me heal. She made my day. Ok. I'll leave you on a happy note. 

Don't you just want one now? I know I do. I'll leave you with thoughts of delicious bacon. So long for now!! 

Friends: The Weirdos You Choose to be Your Family

So. New blog post. Yay! 

So in case any of you were wondering, 

yesterday was pretty awesome. Our mom decided that we could go hang out with our friends at the mall. That's probably because we told her that Lesli wasn't going. She did, however, tell me to behave before she left for Phoenix, and told me that she knows I like someone. It kinda threw me off kilter. I thought she knew that Lesli and I are dating. I guess not. Anywho. Some of you are probably wondering why my mom had to go to Phoenix. Well, that's where our older brother Rene lives with his daughter Amiyah. So every so often -by the way, is the t supposed to be pronounced in that word, because I pronounce it that way- our mom will go to Phoenix to go pick up Amiyah and then brings her back. Sometimes Ari and I go with her,  and sometimes we get to stay home with our brother. This was one of the times we got to stay home. So since she wasn't going to be here, Elisabeth decided that we would all (Ari, Elisabeth, Lesli, Lilia, and I) would hand out at the mall on Saturday (yesterday). So she asked her mom, but explained a little too much about the situation, which resulted in us asking our mom if the mall crawl could happen. By some miracle, she said yes to the plan, so we got to hang out with them from 11 to 1:30. It was so awesome. Ari and I don't get to hang out with our friends much after school or really outside of school because of our busy schedule and because of all the planning that goes into it. It can be really exhausting trying to coordinate. It worked out really well yesterday, though, because thankfully everyone was free and could all meet up at the time and place decided upon. So Karim had to take us, and she dropped us off at the same time Elisabeth was dropped off. This began our awesome excursion with our friends. Lilia got there last, so we spent most of our time at Barnes & Nobles. It was awesome. We all shared stories about the books we had read, which ones were awesome, which ones were sucky, and stealing sips of Elisabeth's drink that she got from Starbucks. Elisabeth, Ari, and I all got books, Ari and I each getting 2 books. I'm excited because now I have something to read when I'm not testing this week. Oh, by the way, this next week is our standardized testing week, do I will probably finish both my books. 

Weird side note. Even though I am a total book worm, I have never gotten a book for myself from Barnes & Nobles before yesterday. I think it's because I like the library so much. There are very few books I own that are actually mine. Lesli has given me most of them. It's weird. Anywho. Back to the story. 

So after we left the book store (not to be confused with the NMSU Bookstore), we walked the mall, looking at the stores. We didn't go in any of them, but still. It was fun. Ari and Elisabeth started complaining about hunger, so we decided to go to the food court. Now. Let me explain some things. Our mall here is really sad in regards to the food court. Some things are cool, but our food court is a major let down. It's not as sad as the mall in Alamogordo, but still. The only good place was Chick-fil-a. Now, that was a problem for me. See, a couple of years ago, maybe last year, the CEO of the fast food chain restaurant expressed his feelings regarding same sex marriages. To put it blatantly, he does not support it. So that obviously upset me enough to vow never to eat there. I never have, and I told myself that I never would. Well. Things didn't go like that. That place is the only good place to eat in our mall. My friends were hungry. Lilia even asked me to "tell my principles to be quite for this one time." I reluctantly agreed and we got food there. Lilia ordered so we could find a spot. I helped her bring out food over to our eating spot and we talked for a while as we ate. It was enjoyable. When we were done eating, I decided to rest against the circular bench thing we ate on. Lesli lied down on my lap, and Ari lied down on hers. When Elisabeth and Lilia came back from a trip to the mysterious bathroom, Elisabeth traded spots with Ari. Ari sat next to Elisabeth, and Lilia sat in front of us all. We were just sitting and talking when a security guard came up to us and told us not to lay on the floor. We got up, but we kinda griped about it. I wouldn't have complained if he hadn't said, "That's what the bench is for," as if we were stupid. He probably thought we were a bunch of stupid air heads. Oh well. I'm hoping he didn't, because then I would look at him and be like, that's why I'm a lesbian. 

He should get this feeling around me. At least, that security guard should. Anywho, I digress. 

So after we finished picking up our eating area, Lilia made a comment on how she liked that we were at the mall, not shopping. I looked at her and told her that we never said anything about shopping. She have me a look that said, it was implied. To which I told her that this was our social time. So we went to go get candy and Lilia made another comment. This one was about how hyper Lesli was going to get because, 1) she had had coffee 2) she was with me and 3) she was eating a lot of candy. Now, I know she gets really hyper with coffee, and candy gets anyone hyper, but apparently she gets hyper whenever she gets to sit next to me or hold my hand. Both happened, so I didn't know how hyper she would get. Lilia made it sound like Lesli was going to explode from energy. Whatever. I wouldn't say this to Lilia, but it makes me happy that I can make my girlfriend hyper. I mean, who wouldn't? So anyhow, we went back to Barnes & Nobles and went to the kids section, looking at all our favorite childhood books. I had to explain to my friends how I never really had a childhood like theirs. I was expected to act like an adult, but Mom did read a lot to us. We also talked about our future mansion and how awesome it will be. We even planned it out. I'll include a post someday about what our house will look like, but not today. So anyway, Ari and I had to leave soon, so we bid them goodbye. It was one of the most fun days I have ever had. I can't wait to do it again. Elisabeth and Lilia really want a sleep over, but we all know it won't happen. Some of you are like, why not? To which I reply, 1) our mom has never let us have a sleep over before, nor has she let us attend one 2)they want us all to go, but we can't really have one if Lesli or I go, because we are a couple. Basically, the fact that Lesli and I are dating is the main issue. We can't ever room together on school trips, nor can we have a sleep over without someone constantly watching over us. So. Yeah. I don't know how it will work, but I want a sleep over so bad. I guess that's all I have to say. So long for now!