Hey there, Interwebers!
So I should never talk about my romantic relationships on this. Like, ever.
About a week after my last post, Tati stopped talking to me. Just out of the blue. I found out through Instagram that she has a girlfriend. So yeah. My relationships seem to come to an end as soon as I write about them.
But anywho.
So I'm working for YWiC now. It's been great and fun, but there are some parts that suck. Like, our coordinator, Daniella, left. She had been having problems with people, and she didn't feel respected. I completely understand her feelings, but I was sad to see her go. And it's made a lot of things difficult.
I guess what I hate the most about that particular change is that I'm basically alone now. Becca still loves Ari and I, but she's not as involved as Daniella was. So I don't have as strong an ally. But what this has really made difficult is my responsibility. Even though I've been with YWiC for six years, I was only a participant or a helped. Now, I'm being given more than I sometimes feel like I can handle. For example, I'm currently all alone right now in a workshop.
It's called CS4HS, so it's a workshop that tries to get high school teachers to implement computational thinking and other CS principles into the classroom. Last month, I had Daniella and Sasha. This month, it's just me. And I don't really mind, except for that I don't feel like part of the YWiC team. The same was true for last night. I'm a mentor for the Supercomputing teams we have, and last night it was just me and 10 kids, ranging from seventh grade to high school senior. Becca thankfully helped me set up, as well as Ari, which was a welcome change from two weeks ago when I had to set up, run the meeting, and clean up all by myself. Again, I don't really mind. I've been doing stuff like this for years through 4-H and helping my sister. I know how to set up and take down, and I've gotten better and running workshops or clubs. It's just that I would have like having one other YWiC member with me. I know that, by myself, I have to power to make it what I want, but that's not how I want to do it.
I don't want to feel isolated. I don't want to feel like I don't belong on the team. I'm basically the lead YWiC member on all the non-YWiC stuff. I'm doing Supercomputing, CS4HS, and an afterschool workshop at the Downtown Mall for teens called TeenTech. I'm not interacting with any of the YWiC alum for the afterschool workshops, and sometimes it hurts. I joined this to inspire girls to get into CS and stay there. And as much as I love helping with all these other events- and I do- I want to help with all the other ones too. I want to collaborate with the YWiC team. I want to feel like a group.
Maybe someday my wish will come true. Hopefully, we will come together as a unit, in spite of the shift and changes that we have gone through.
Well. I think that was enough angst for today.
So long for now!
